The following would, no doubt, have been
CB&Q policy had it not been amalgamated.
Health & Safety and Equality Considerations for Christmas
Songs
Jingle Bells
Dashing through the snow
In a one horse open
sleigh
O'er the fields we go
Laughing all the way
A risk assessment must be submitted
before an open sleigh is considered safe for members of the public to travel on.
The risk assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one
horse for such a venture, particularly if passengers are of larger proportions.
Please note: permission must be gained from landowners before entering their
fields. To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would
request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered
noise pollution.
While Shepherds
Watched
While shepherds watched
Their flocks by
night
All seated on the ground
The angel of the Lord came down
And
glory shone around
The Union of Shepherds has complained that it breaches health
and safety regulations to insist that shepherds watch their flocks without
appropriate seating arrangements being provided, therefore benches, stools and
orthopaedic chairs must be made available. Shepherds have also requested that,
due to the inclement weather conditions at this time of year, they should watch
their flocks via closed circuit tv cameras from centrally heated observation
huts. Please note, the angel of the lord is reminded that before shining his/her
glory all around she/he must ascertain that all shepherds have been issued with
glasses capable of filtering out the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and Glory.
Rudolph the red nosed
reindeer
Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
had a very
shiny nose.
And if you ever saw him,
you would even say it
glows.
You
are advised that under the Equal Opportunities for All policy, it is
inappropriate for persons to make comment with regard to the ruddiness of any
part of Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from the
Reindeer Games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be
taken against those found guilty of this offence. A full investigation will be
implemented and sanctions - including suspension on full pay - will be
considered whilst this investigation takes
place.
Little
Donkey
Little donkey, little donkey on the dusty
road
Got to keep on plodding onwards with your precious load
The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals has
strict guidelines with regard to how heavy a load that a donkey of small stature
is permitted to carry, also included in the guidelines is guidance regarding how
often to feed the donkey and how many rest breaks are required over a four hour
plodding period. Please note that due to the increased risk of pollution from
the dusty road, Mary and Joseph are required to wear face masks to prevent
inhalation of any airborne particles. The donkey has expressed his discomfort at
being labelled 'little' and would prefer just to be simply referred to as Mr.
Donkey. To comment upon his height or lack thereof may be considered an
infringement of his equine rights
We
Three Kings
We three kings of
Orient are
Bearing gifts we traverse afar
Field and fountain, moor and
mountain
Following yonder star
Whilst the gift of gold is still considered
acceptable - as it may be redeemed at a later date through such organisations as
'cash for gold' etc, gifts of frankincense and myrrh are not appropriate due to
the potential risk of oils and fragrances causing allergic reactions. A
suggested gift alternative would be to make a donation to a worthy cause in the
recipient's name or perhaps give a gift
voucher.
We would advise that the traversing kings do not
rely on navigation by stars in order to reach their destinations and suggest the
use of AAA Routefinder or GPS navigation, which will provide the quickest route
and advice regarding fuel consumption. Please note as per the guidelines from
the SPCA for Mr Donkey, the camels carrying the three kings of Orient will
require regular food and rest breaks. Facemasks for the three kings are also
advisable due to the likelihood of dust from the camels
hooves.
Away in a Manger No Crib for a bed
-
Social Services
will visit and may remove any child to a place of safety pending further action
against parents, or other persons, who may be found to be guilty of neglect by
not providing adequate bedding and shelter for a child in their care. Criminal
proceedings may be instituted after a case study has been carried out and fully
discussed at a full meeting of the appropriate Social Services
Committee.
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